How to Leave a Google Review (Without Looking Like an Idiot)

How to Leave a Google Review (Without Looking Like an Idiot)

How to Leave a Google Review (Without Looking Like an Idiot)

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Let’s face it: we’ve all been there. You’ve just had an amazing experience at a local business, and you want to shout it from the rooftops. Or maybe you’ve had a terrible experience and want to warn others to stay away. Either way, you’re ready to unleash your inner critic and leave a Google review. But here’s the kicker – you do not know how to do it.

Don’t worry, my technologically challenged friend. I’m here to guide you through the treacherous waters of how to leave a Google review, ensuring you don’t embarrass yourself. Because nothing screams “I’m old” quite like struggling to leave an online review.

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Why Google Reviews Matter (Even If You Think They Don’t)

Before diving into the nitty-gritty of leaving a review, let’s talk about why you should even bother.

How to Leave a Google Review :

Step 1: Log Your Ass Into Google

It might seem obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people forget this crucial step if you don’t have a Google account; welcome to the 21st century. Go make one; I’ll wait.

Step 2: Find the Business

There are two ways to do this:

  • Google Search:
    • Type the business name into Google.
    • Look for the box on the right with the business info. You should see a “Write a review” button.
    • Click it.
  • Google Maps: Open Google Maps, search for the business, click on it, and scroll down until you see the review section.

Step 3: Rate and Rant (or Rave)

Now’s your time to shine. Click on the stars to rate the business from 1 to 5. Then, unleash your inner critic in the text box below.

Step 4: Add Photos (Optional)

If you’re feeling fancy, you can add photos to your review. Just make sure they’re relevant and not just selfies of you making duck faces.

Step 5: Hit Post

Take a deep breath and click that “Post” button. Congratulations, you’ve just contributed to the vast ocean of internet opinions.

The Art of Writing a Not-Sucky Review

Now that you know how to leave a review, let’s talk about how to leave a good one. Because let’s face it, most reviews out there are about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

  • Be specific: Don’t just say, “It was good.” Tell us why. Was it the food? The service? The fact that they didn’t kick you out for wearing socks with sandals?
  • Be honest: Don’t sugarcoat things, but also don’t be a jerk. Constructive criticism is key.
  • Use proper grammar: Nothing undermines your credibility faster than a review full of typos and emojis.
  • Keep it relevant: Nobody cares about your life story. Stick to the experience at hand.
  • Be timely: Leave your review while the experience is still fresh in your mind. Don’t wait six months and then try to remember if the soup was “good” or “meh”.

Remember, your review matters. 81% of consumers read Google reviews before making a purchase decision. So don’t half-ass it. Put some thought into it and help your fellow humans make informed choices.

And here’s a fun fact to motivate you: businesses with positive reviews on Google can see an average of 18% increase in revenue. So your words have power. Use them wisely, or don’t. I’m not your boss.

The Bottom Line:

There you have it, folks. You’re now equipped with all the knowledge you need to leave a Google review like a pro. So go forth and share your opinions with the world. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Use your newfound review skills wisely, and maybe think twice before leaving that one-star review because the barista spelled your name wrong on your coffee cup.

Frequently Asked Questions:

Can I leave an anonymous review?

Sorry, incognito warrior. Google requires you to be logged in to leave a review.

How long does it take for my review to show up?

Usually, it’s instant. But sometimes, it can take a few days if Google decides to put it through additional checks.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Konger Avatar
Konger
4 weeks ago

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Disclaimer

*The information this blog provides is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as financial or professional advice. The information may not reflect current developments and may be changed or updated without notice. Any opinions expressed on this blog are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the author’s employer or any other organization. You should not act or rely on any information contained in this blog without first seeking the advice of a professional. No representation or warranty, express or implied, is made as to the accuracy or completeness of the information contained in this blog. The author and affiliated parties assume no liability for any errors or omissions.